Do I believe I can win? I guess that’s the question…

Today is the future I created yesterday.

I saw this quote on Instagram a couple of days ago. I ‘liked’ it, and then proceeded to think about it pretty much nonstop. “Today is the future I created yesterday” – Louise Hay Right now everything feels like it’s starting to build – only it’s all building in a secret crevice that’s just outside of my periphery. I don’t know when the flowers – the trees? — that I’ve been so carefully (deliberately) planting are going to start popping up all around me; underneath me. Does that work as a metaphor? Yes. Because right now I feel unstable. I’m …

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Why does acting class have to be so frustrating?

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I always feel a little tired the day after an acting class and I’m never entirely sure why. Maybe it’s all the breaking down and building up. Maybe it’s because I tend to push myself a little bit (sometimes a lot) past where I feel comfortable. Maybe it’s because I usually leave the studio on inspiration overload. Maybe it’s just because five hours is a really long time to stay present – but you can’t help but be present when people are doing such uninhibited, brave and truthful work. It’s probably a combination of all of these things. I started …

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“We try to make ourselves into works of art.” – ‘Addiction to Perfection’ by Marion Woodman (A Review)

Addiction to Perfection

I read ‘the’ most incredible book over the holidays. I say incredible with a caveat… it was very challenging and difficult for me to read – as in it actually effected me emotionally. It picked at my scabs. It pricked me where my skin is the thinnest. It led to a full scale breakdown on the beach. This book is ‘Addiction to Perfection: The Still Unravished Bride – a Psychological Study‘ by Marion Woodman. In her book, Woodman examines our addiction to routine, and why this is not necessarily the answer to happiness that so many ‘self-help’ books and podcasts …

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Is it possible to be a ‘perfect’ daughter? Because I’m not even close.

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It was my mom’s birthday two days ago. I called her, distracted. ‘Happy Birthday’… but my fingers were preoccupied with my keyboard. I want to be a good daughter. As I hung up the phone, I could feel it in my gut, throat and heart that I wasn’t. Not in that moment. What does it mean to be a good daughter? A ‘great’ daughter? Can you be great at a role that you were born into? I get ‘great’ and ‘perfect’ confused a lot. They seem to overlap. I want to be a perfect daughter, but in my life I’ve …

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The unbearably predictable time management strategy I used to use

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I fell back into an old habit on Monday. Forgetting everything that I’ve learned over the previous year, I started to break my day into hours. I thought it would work. I don’t know how many times I have to try this ‘strategy’ before I realize that I don’t operate well with this sort of strictness. I wrote on a blank piece of paper: From this time to this time I’ll work on this, and then this time I’ll allot for travel and eating, and then from this time to this time I’ll work on this. I figured out my …

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I don’t know if you remember me. We met on an airplane in the second week of August

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A couple of days ago, I received the following message through the contact form on my blog: Hi, I don’t know if you remember me. We met on an airplane on the second week of August… We were sitting next to each other and started talking about you writing your blog and doing yoga and me about designing books. I mentioned to you I wanted to take voice over lessons and you gave me the address and names of teachers for the Vancouver Acting School. Anyway, I wanted to say thank you. I went to the place and I am …

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This Blog is a Road Map

Past Self

This blog is a road map written to help a past self I will never meet again, and yet never want to forget. I’m referring to my past self from a year ago, a month ago, a day ago. When I first moved to Vancouver I felt desperate, discouraged and eager for growth. I wanted/needed a roadmap for success. I didn’t know where to find one. I felt alone in my desperation. I didn’t know how to be; how to live in this world. I had many flawed beliefs. I thought that success came all at once, I thought that …

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3 Traps I Fell into in 2014, and my default hacks for 2015

Behaving in ways

You’ll make the same mistakes over and over again until you learn from them. This is something I discovered in 2014. If you missed my ‘official’ new year’s post, my 2015 resolution is to embrace the ‘Holy Shit’ moment. To me, embracing these moments means doing things I’m not necessarily comfortable with, but which still align with my values and vision for my life – even in an obscure way. To me ‘holy shit’ is synonymous with spontaneity and doing/saying/behaving in ways that are surprising… especially to myself. To me, ‘holy shit’ is about doing things differently. ‘Holy shit’ is …

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My New Beginning Started With The Polar Bear Dip and Ended with a ‘Holy Shit!’

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How will 2015 be better? Like last year, I will commit to a series of small changes… but there are a few things that I want to do differently. I’m prepared to take some steps forward and some steps back. I’ve braced myself for leaps and tumbles; breakthroughs and breakdowns. I’m anticipating some holy shit I can’t believe this is my life moments, and some I just want to crawl up in a ball and start over again tomorrow moments. There’s something comforting about having a new beginning that coincides with the new beginning of millions of other people – …

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“Sometimes we are called upon to give up the part of our life that we hold most dear” – My Personal Experience with Breakthrough Pain

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“When the possibility of radical transformation presents itself, it brings with it considerable fear. Once the door is opened, the bird who has lived in a cage all its life shrinks back from freedom and the terrors of the unknown. It is the Self, the ordering center of the personality, that presents the ego with the challenge to move to a new level of consciousness.” – Marion Woodman, Addiction to Perfection This has been a hard Christmas for me. It’s my first Christmas as a single woman in five year. Five Christmases spent with the same man, and now I’m …

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