Sisyphus was a King who was punished by being made to roll a huge boulder up a hill. Every time he would reach the top, the boulder would roll down again. Thus, his task would never be completed. This is a Greek Myth that was discussed in my class a few night ago, and I think it is an excellent way to open up the following post (I’ll return to this myth in the end).
I have decided to take this week off from the Artist’s Way. I was getting into some bad habits, and falling into a head space that was not serving me. Those bad habits included:
- Doing my morning pages on the go, instead of actually getting up earlier and taking my time with them.
- Waking up and going to bed late. 3 times this week I have rolled out of bed at 7:55am… I need to be out of the house by 8:20, so this is really pushing it.
I have been feeling tired and overwhelmed with everything that I currently have going on in my life. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE being busy… but sometimes a girl just needs a break. After finishing my homework last night, I collapsed on the couch and threw on some “Modern Family” before letting my head hit the pillow at 12am – my earliest bed time this week.
I broke it down, here’s what my life currently looks like:
- Working 28 hours a week at the gym
- Going to Acting School 20 hours a week + Homework (an additional 8-10 hours a week. Soon to be increased)
- Exercising 5-6 times a week (this will turn into 9-10 times a week once training for my 1/2 marathon begins in February)
- One of these workouts is the Spin class I teach every Thursday Night
- Completing the Artist’s Way Challenge
- Writing one article every 2 weeks for the “Capilano Courier”
- Writing in this blog – my goal is to write 4-5 posts a week.
If you add on the cleaning and cooking, and other projects and necessary errands – my life is pretty busy. It’s no wonder I’m feeling tired. I really haven’t left any time for me time. I haven’t made myself and my sanity a priority at all.
“Ugh” my inner self bellowed as I struggled to calm a pounding headache while sitting in front of my computer at Blenz Coffee Shop, “If only I didn’t have to sleep, maybe then I’d be able to get to the bottom of my list.”
I’m busy, I’m more than busy. Today, as I was walking to work I stopped myself and asked the following question: Why?
Why am I working so hard? I should be taking the time to really enjoy my life, instead of working for an end that I will never achieve. I don’t mean this in a pessimistic way. I just mean that I’m living for the future, but the future can never arrive. Why? Because it’s the future. All we have is the present. I feel remarkably fulfilled by everything that I’m doing, but I’ve forgotten to make room for play.
Returning to the above myth, there is a very famous quote by Albert Camus that is related to this myth.
“one must imagine Sisyphus happy” as “The struggle itself towards the heights is enough to fill a man’s heart.”
I work hard everyday in the hopes of turning my dreams and ambitions into a reality that I can enjoy; however, the reality is that as I accomplish my dreams, new dreams will form, and still newer ones will form after I’ve satisfied those ambitions. If you live your life in a state of anticipation, you will never be satisfied. Learn to enjoy and appreciate the journey, and don’t worry about what will become of all that you’re doing in the present. What’s important is that you/ I work to be happy NOW. Leave the rest in the hands of the universe.