Have you ever had a moment when you realized that the universe may be dragging you forward kicking and screaming. I’m sort of getting the impression that the universe is tired of my resistance. Maybe I should elaborate.
Yesterday I learned about some episodes of bullying taking place at my work place. I’m not going to delve too deeply into it, but I learned that a group of people were keeping a tally of every time 3 select employees did or said something stupid. I was not one of these 3 employees, but it still bothers me something like this even took place. Adding to this, my manager came to speak to myself and another employee on Saturday to tell us that she was unimpressed with our performance over the weekend. I’d be lying if I said that my performance wasn’t dwindling with every coming week, so she wasn’t completely off base here. When I first started working for the gym I was motivated and excited, but the negative energy (of being surrounded by employees who don’t want to be there), an insane turn-over rate (the club has been opened less than a year, and we have lost or fired over 20 employees in that time), and changes in management, have made me feel sort of apathetic. Nevertheless, Sunday I worked my butt off and reorganized the entire reception desk and even printed off a detailed list of everything that I did during the day. I guess this blast into action is a result of the perfectionist in me. Also not doing an excellent job at something sort of goes against my paradigms.
So I did all this, and when I came into work Monday afternoon I received no recognition for my hard work from either my manager or my supervisor. Maybe I don’t deserve it, but it would have been nice. I’ve gotten over that, and am going about my day today when I receive an e-mail from my club’s manager saying that she is cutting back my hours because “she can no longer rationalize having an extra receptionist on Friday’s.” Have I mentioned that I have been working this Friday shift at the gym for almost a year? There are only 2 other employees at the gym who have been there longer than I have. I apologize for the rantiness of this blog post, but I’m just very frustrated right now.
What’s good is that this frustration has caused me to realize that something needs to change. It’s time to move on. I got this job when my vibrations were at a level that was significantly lower than the one I’m at now. I had an excellent chat with my boyfriend today, about how I need to raise my self-worth or else I’m always going to get the same kinds of job. I started applying for new jobs today with one phrase in mind: apply for positions that both excite and scare you at the same time.
I’m always talking about how important it is to go outside of your comfort zone, and now I’m really doing it. Feels good. Feels empowering actually. I am working at a job that I no longer enjoy, and I have the power to leave.
I’m writing about this for two reasons. One, is to keep myself accountable for actually doing what I’ve told myself that I’m going to do, and two is to give anyone out there a kick in the butt like the one received today if you’re in a situation similar to mine. It’s time to put an end to the “waiting for it to get better” and to move on.