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As I walked toward the bus stop I saw an older man with a large belly leaning back on the bench playing a relaxed version of air guitar. As I got closer to him, I smiled. He motioned to the seat next to him, “you can sit down if you like.” He said it as if he expected me to turn down his invitation. I did. I was happy standing, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t interested in talking to him.

I could smell the liquor on his breath, but he was definitely lucid. He asked me where I was coming back from? I told him that I had just returned some books to the library, and he told me that he had just gotten back from listening to some soft-rock music at a nearby venue. He returned to his air guitar and became lost in his own world. I asked him if he played, and he said that he didn’t. He said that he’d always thought his hands were too small. “But then,” he said, “you see kids all the time with hands that are smaller than mine rocking out… so I don’t know.” He continued to talk about the music and the way the musicians played. He seemed inspired, but also a little bit sad. A little bit distracted.

“Have you ever thought about learning how to play?” I asked him. He chuckled to himself.

“No,” he said, “I’m too busy being drunk.”

My bus came at that moment. I motioned with my head that I had to go, and told him that it was really nice to meet him. He smiled. Then he said something I didn’t expect him to say. This exchange happened a week ago and it still haunts me. “Thank you for stopping to talk to me. Most people…” He had been about to say wouldn’t, but he trailed off mid thought and returned to his air guitar. I got on the bus and watched him in the widow as it drove away.

I think, sometimes, we disregard the impact we can have on other people. At the beginning of John Patrick Shanley’s play “The Big Funk” he says:

“A man in our society is not left alone. Not in the cities. Not in the woods. We must have commerce with our fellows, and that commerce is difficult and uneasy. I do not understand how to live in this society. I don’t get it. Each person has an enormous effect… Where my foot falls, I leave a mark, whether I want to or not. We are linked together, each to each.”

IMG_20141017_093341I, personally, have always been afraid to make an impact. I’m starting to get over this fear. I’m learning that we all have a choice. We can either evade responsibility, or we can start to take control of every moment and really make a difference. I obsess over stats and numbers all the time when it comes to this blog. This interaction reminded me that it’s the individual stories that matter. One life influenced is enough. So much of the time, it’s the small choices, the simplest interactions, that make the biggest difference.

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