“Few people realize that they are bound, handicapped, whipped spiritually & physically through some form of fear” - Napoleon Hill

What am I afraid of?

Have you ever asked yourself that question? I don’t think I’ve ever gotten super specific about my answer. This week I’ve learned that specificity is important. You can’t be vague when it comes to setting goals. Perhaps the same is true in acknowledging your demons. You have to know what you’re fighting before you can win.

So, where to start?

Well, I guess the first thing to recognize are the areas where I’m blocked – the areas where I feel stuck in my life.

The biggest block for me right now is money.

Right now, I’m about 15 pages away from finishing ‘Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill. This book was definitely written for men [This was an actual passage from the book: “Women in the same predicament must be different… They are scarce in the breadlines, they rarely are seen begging on the streets, and they are not recognizable in crowds by the same plan signs which identify busted men… there must be many of them, but their despair is not apparent. Maybe they kill themselves.” – keep in mind that this book was published in 1960… but good God!] but despite his bias, it is filled with incredibly valuable pieces of advice. There’s a reason this book is still read today.

“I had learned, from years of experience with men, that when a man really desires a thing so deeply that he is willing to stake his entire future on a single turn of the wheel in order to get it, he is sure to win. I gave him the opportunity he asked for, because I saw he had made up his mind to stand by until he succeeded. Subsequent events proved that no mistake was made.” – Edison

What do you take away from the above passage?

Here’s what I take away: Desire is everything. And when you mix desire with an unyielding faith in yourself and your vision, an imagination undeterred by criticism or skepticism, and a persistence that won’t quit until you get what you want, you will eventually achieve what you desire.

It seems fairly obvious when put in writing… but it’s hard when you’re in the middle of struggle. It’s especially hard when being repeatedly poked by those nasty voices that whisper messages of “not enough.”

“Whatever you want in life, other people are going to want it too. Believe in yourself enough to accept the idea that you have an equal right to it.” – Diane Sawyer

Last week, I had trouble getting out of bed.

I experienced a major financial setback and fell into a bit of a depression. It started on Thursday, lifted temporarily on Saturday, and then latched itself back onto my now nauseous stomach on Sunday. I didn’t know how to deal with it. I felt like ignoring the reality of what was happening would be irresponsible. I justified my misery as a responsible reaction.

I wandered aimlessly and tried desperately to focus on my work. I couldn’t.

Then I did something smart (I’ll toot my own horn). I sat down and I journaled. I challenged myself to journal until I had gotten everything I was scared of out of my head and on paper.

There is something that I am meant to learn from this experience. I wrote.

“What if I thought of this as a challenge? I am strong enough to deal with this. I can make the decision to be positive despite how easy it is to be negative right now… I’m ready to play the game; I’m ready to take control over my life.”

From there I started putting together a plan. Since that day I have been very deliberately putting this plan into action.

Every day since Sunday I have done something that scares me. I’ve been planting seeds. I’ve been actively building my future in a more empowered way. I’ve started believing in myself in a way that I’ve never believed in myself before.

“At one point, I was in a place where it didn’t feel like it was going to happen, and I was feeling pretty down on myself. But I stuck to it, and now I have a hit comedy on my hands. You’ve got to keep plugging away at it. If you really believe in yourself, you can definitely make it happen.” – Zachary Knighton

What am I afraid of? I’m afraid of criticism and not being liked. I’m afraid of doing things imperfectly. I’m afraid of putting my all into something, and falling flat in my face.

“We see few who take the punishment of defeat as an urge to greater effort” said Napoleon Hill in the chapter on ‘persistence.’ “What we do not see, what most of us never suspect of existing, it the silent but irresistible power which comes to the rescue of those who fight on in the face of discouragement.”

I’ve decided that I have the power and ability to see my current setbacks as an opportunity for extraordinary growth. Despite all of my fears, and despite how easy it would be to fall back into depression right now, I’ve decided to believe and to fight.