How will 2015 be better? Like last year, I will commit to a series of small changes… but there are a few things that I want to do differently.

I’m prepared to take some steps forward and some steps back. I’ve braced myself for leaps and tumbles; breakthroughs and breakdowns. I’m anticipating some holy shit I can’t believe this is my life moments, and some I just want to crawl up in a ball and start over again tomorrow moments.

There’s something comforting about having a new beginning that coincides with the new beginning of millions of other people – billions even? 2015 is the newest of the New Beginnings. Have you been breathing in yours? What does it feel like? Anyone else feeling overwhelmed?

This post is three days shy of New Year’s day because I have been putting off my personal new beginning – maybe because I’ve been saturated in start overs recently and I just want to be comfortable for a second…

Last year, on New Year’s day, I woke up early and ran along the sea wall as the sun rose into the sky. It was magical. It was perfect. I showered and went to a cafe to write… then hit my head in disappointment when I realized that I had, once again, forgotten that I wanted to do the polar dip. Still, January 1^st 2014 was a “perfect” day.

January 1^st 2015 was not a “perfect” day. I woke up hungover having spent the night making the sort of bad decisions you only make while drinking – but weirdly, I felt empowered by these bad decisions. I’ve written a lot about my struggles with perfectionism recently. In 2014 I tried to do everything right. My focus was on ambition. In 2015 my focus is going to be on risk – embracing the holy shit moment.

I started 2015 by finally doing the polar dip.

My mom picked me up. This was not in Vancouver, BC. This was in Sackville, Nova Scotia. A hole had been cut in the ice that blanketed the lake for the event. Several firemen in thermal suits sat in the hole to help jumpers if something went wrong. I’m not mentally ready to do this said my brother. I wasn’t ready either. I’m rarely ready for the things that scare me most. I put on my Impossible Shirt to give me courage.

My brother, sister, and I stripped off our clothing at the same time and walked over to the ice in our barefeet. Let’s hold hands, I said. We did. The ice broke underneath me so I didn’t so much jump as fall. I crunched myself into a ball so that I was completely submerged, and then broke through the water into the cold January air. My first holy shit moment of the year.

With this holy shit moment in mind, I decided to put together a list of reminders to keep in mind as I move into 2015. I think it’s a fairly well rounded list of quotes. Enjoy!

My “Rules” for 2015

1. “When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bounds. Your mind transcends limitations, your conscience expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new, great and wonderful world.” – The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali

2. “Without passion, all the skill in the world won’t lift you above craft. Without skill, all the passion in the world will leave you eager but floundering. Combining the two is the essence of the creative life.” – Twyla Tharp

3. “We are the ones that we’ve been waiting for” — Alice Walker, Pulitzer Prize winning author.

4. “At the root of all fear is separation.” – Steven Kotler

5. “Shadow comforts can take any form. It’s not what you do; it’s why you do it that makes the difference.” – Jennifer Louden

Happy New Year! May you start your New Beginning whenever you feel ready with as big of  a splash as you feel like making.