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Two weeks ago, everything felt like it was falling apart. Nothing felt fair. I was angry, hurt and incredibly scared.

Over the last several months, I’ve learned that moments of crisis can bring with them the most incredible opportunities for change. Big change.

I had to start doing things differently. I no longer had a choice.

Monday, February 9th, 2015 – I Made a Decision

It was Monday morning. My alarm went off. I starred at my ceiling. What was the point of getting up? I didn’t really have a job anymore. My bank account was empty. I was sinking into panic. Breathe.

“In two weeks, things are going to change,” I said out loud. I said it with certainty. I didn’t know what that change would look like, but I knew that no matter what things were going to change. For the better. No way was I going backwards!!

The ‘law of attraction’ has always confused me a little bit/ a lot. I mean, the theory behind it is very exciting – get into vibrational alignment with what you want, and what you want will come to you – but I felt like I was missing something important. The action part.

Law of Attraction meet Action

My dad is a workaholic. When I think about action I think about work. Nonstop work. Incessant work. I used to feel guilty – sick even – when I was doing something unrelated to work. I’d get antsy. I’d start to have anxiety attacks. It was a problem. Especially since work and progress weren’t really positively correlated. Working to stay busy works great until you’re in crisis and are forced to change.

A couple of weeks ago, my roommate was watching Harry Potter and The Half Blooded Prince. There’s a scene in the movie where Harry drinks a small vial of ‘Felix Felicis’ – liquid luck. Suddenly he knows exactly what to do to get the outcome he wants. What was once serious and incredibly important turns into a little bit of a game. He knows he can get what he wants, so he just starts to have fun. He starts to enjoy the process. His fear dissipates underneath the strength of his faith – the faith he has in himself.

J.K. Rowling is one smart woman.

I think we’re all born with the power of Felix Felicis. I think it has a human alias/codename. That codename is intuition.

What if taking action didn’t mean crazy long work hours. What if it just meant specific, intuitively discovered, and brave action.

There are two tricky resistance traps in this new equation:

  1. The Belief Problem
    • Changing your vibrational frequency means changing how you feel. You have to feel what you want before you can have what you want. That means that you have to believe in your own personal power. You have to believe in yourself.  Without belief, you won’t be able to cultivate the courage necessary for deliberate action.
  2. The Fear Factor
    • This “one thing” your intuition tells you to do is usually really scary, and once identified you’ll likely immediately start coming up with excuses for why what you want isn’t possible.

You also have to know what you want. No more flailing after broad ideas of happiness and fulfillment. You have to start getting uncomfortably specific about what, exactly, you’re working towards.

Another example, [spoiler alert]. In ‘The Imitation Game’ they weren’t able to get enigma to work until they gave it some guidelines. Some help. Some clues about what it was it was looking for. The machine Alan Turing created to crack enigma was incredibly complex. So are you!

So, what are you looking for?

I believe that we can all have whatever we want. We just have to know ‘what’ we want.

You have to know what you want before you can have it. You have to know how you want to feel before you can feel that way.

So many ideas!! Not enough time. Okay. Backtrack.

I never used to trust myself. I used to think my emotions were wrong. I put what others perceived above what I perceived. I didn’t think what I felt mattered.

Turns out what you feel is everything.

“What the eyes really see is the back of the brain. What we see is filtered based on our objectives and our judgments. Our eyes see more than our brains actually process…We only see what we believe is possible.” – What the Bleep

So when you raise your vibrational frequency you begin to see what you couldn’t see before. Then you have to take action quickly.

Why quickly?

Because if you’ve ever had a good idea, you know how quickly your brain will start beat your excitement with a bat of contradictions – why what you want can never work. When you have the idea, you have to ACT, and you have to act FAST.

“Don’t talk yourself out of wanting what you want, just because you haven’t figured out how to get it” – Abraham Hicks

I didn’t want to go backwards, but where could I go next?

Specific, intuitively discovered, and brave action.

I started listening. This is what happened.

In December I attended an incredible event called Urban Campfire. Women leaders spoke about their experiences as women in business. Menopause, hysterectomys, and miscarriages were among the topics discussed that evening. It was an event like nothing I had ever attended before.

After the event, I wrote a blog post about my experience. The CEO of the company – Melody Biringer – saw the blog post. She shared it with everyone who attended the event in the emotional hangover kit she sent out the next day. We became friends on Facebook. I’d actually been too shy to introduce myself to her at the event, but now we were on a first name basis.

Fast forward to 2 weeks ago.

“Tell me what to do” I said to myself, as I lay in bed. Crave popped into my head. I could work for Crave.

There was no job posting. They weren’t looking for anyone. Usually that would have stopped me. For some reason it didn’t this time. I wanted to be apart of the Crave vision. I wanted to work with Melody. That’s what I wanted.

So I started drafting a proposal. Okay… it actually took me three days to start work on the proposal after having the initial idea. I let my fear get the better of me before that. But I wrote it on my ‘to-do list’. For three days I left that box unchecked. “Don’t waste your time. There’s no job” my self talk sneered. The Type A part of my personality outsmarted my self talk. I needed to check it off.

“I don’t care if it’s not possible,” I told myself. “I’m going to do it anyway.” Fear and doubt gnawed at my ankles every step of the way, but I kept working and I kept writing. I worked on the proposal for three days. By the end of it all, it was 4 pages long. “I would be happy to meet you in Seattle if you’re interested in talking about my proposal further” I wrote at the end.

Send.

6 days later I was on a bus on my way to Seattle. 2 days later, after spending two full days with the CEO of Crave, I had a job.

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What have I learned?

Whew! I’m not even sure I know where to start.

I guess I’ve learned that in order to move forward and create big change you have to get specific about what you want, and you have to find the courage to do things differently than you’ve ever done them before. People are going to think you’re crazy, but you HAVE to believe in yourself. If you don’t believe, who’s going to?

Following your intuition takes courage. Creating big change requires specific, intuitively discovered, and brave action.

I challenge you to get specific today. Step away from whatever you’re doing and get CRAZY specific about what you want in one area of your life.

And then take action!!!

You’re going to feel fear probably. But who cares? We’re all afraid. Feel the fear and do it anyway.

Also, clap if you believe in faeries. The world is a magical place. I truly believe that.

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[…] is how I started writing for CRAVE. A job I sought out myself two months after writing the word ‘powerful.’ It was the […]

Kelsey Matarese

This post is really incredible. Thank you so much.

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