You can’t control everything in your life, but you can control some things. Those are the things that matter. They are the only point of focus that matters.

This thought exploded into my consciousness during spin class this morning. I like the word ‘exploded.’ Picture a thought explosion – the famous Oprah ‘Aha’ moment -and that’s exactly what happened.

I’ve been going back and forth between defeat and determination over the last several weeks. I was on a high Tuesday (I even did a full moon ritual to welcome in the change that I could feel was coming my way). I was excited to wake up the next morning.

Wednesday morning came too quickly.

I couldn’t get out of bed.

That night I got home and started crying. My roommate asked if something bad had happened. Despite learning that my brother had recently spent the night in the hospital for something that he attributes to over exertion (we’re very alike), nothing bad had really happened.

I’d met with my mentor from Women in Film. I’d had an audition. I’d set some intentions and goals for the year ahead. But there was still a looming question that I hadn’t yet worked up the courage to answer. I went to bed at 9:15pm and weighed the question in my mind. What’s next? I couldn’t sleep. Was I a failure? I couldn’t answer that either.

Then the thought explosion.

I can’t control everything – I can’t control what other people do, I can’t control the spontaneous and sometimes unfair nature of life, I can’t control what other people think of me – but I can control how I engage with my life.

I can control:

• the thoughts that I think.
• the habits I adopt.
• how often I meditate.
• How regularly I journal.
• What time I go to bed, and what time I go to sleep.
• The consistency with which I follow through on my commitments.
• What I say ‘no’ to.
• What I say ‘yes’ to.
• Who I decide to enter into relationships with – as friends, in business, romantically.
• How deeply I breath.
• How much I allow myself to feel.
• How much I believe.

The biggest out of all these things is belief. Whether or not others believe in me… I have no control over that. What I can control is whether or not I believe in myself.

Believing in yourself is a choice. Don’t get me wrong, it’s fucking hard to do. But it is a choice.

I can’t control everything, but I can control some things.