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What does it feel like to be stuck in a depression?
When I was a kid, I described it as being stuck in a box. Outside this box was life, people, love. Inside this box was me. Alone.

I could observe what I thought it must feel like to live, but I couldn’t actually do it. There just wasn’t enough room.

So I’d sit, cross-legged in the dark, and watch quietly with a pleasant smile.
I didn’t want to make a fuss. I didn’t want others to know that I was trapped and worry about me. Or worse, try to get me out. I was fine, just where I was.

In a dark room, Lindsey Stirling sits in front of a window in one of her newest, and most resonant music videos for me: Take Flight.

 

Through that window, she looks out onto the world. Longing. Sadness. Curiosity. Fear. Sitting cross legged on the floor she retreats into a book – a story – when a flower falls on the floor in front of her. A beautiful blue, but as soon as she touches it, it starts to grey. Wilt.

She panic’s and tries to save it, but it’s dying. And then… a light. From underneath the door. She takes the flower and opens it. Cautiously. A bright light exhales from the other side and she steps out from her box into a world of stairs.

In her first moments outside, she flies, falls and balances her way through what I can only describe as a new world. Her actions become more and more bold as she steps into a boat and begins to row through the clouds. Everything is different. Everything feels unsteady. Gravity isn’t even operating the way it’s supposed to.

Prepare for the storm. The flower flies away, and alone she gasps through the rain. There’s a ladder in the distance, and as the boat gets sucked up into the storm, Lindsay pushes herself through the wind and latches onto its rails.

I cried the first time I watched her feet hit solid ground again.

The story ends at a beginning that’s both familiar and completely new.

I find some comfort in that.

To me, ‘Take Flight’ is about self-exploration. It’s about bravery. It’s about letting your imagination breathe itself into the world. It’s about struggle, and it’s about triumph. It’s about letting go of the darkness and exploring the light. It’s about the beauty of determination, and the incredible resilience of the human spirit.

It’s about turning your life into a story. It’s about the magic of being yourself.

All lessons I’ve been working hard to reconcile myself with over the last several weeks.

On those mornings when I find it hard to get out of bed, I find it comforting to know that I’m not alone in this. That growth is hard for everyone. That stepping away from the box will always be scary.

But also… that it’s possible.

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